Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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