I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
