Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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