So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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