oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
