There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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