so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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