i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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