dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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