i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
sex in a hospital.. check
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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