thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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