I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
