Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
