People in love make me want to vomit
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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