Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
