I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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