conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize