I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
