dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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