You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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