Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
