as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
