Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
