We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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