it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
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