google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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