why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
