i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
