i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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