i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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