At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
