i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
