used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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