You can't special order awesome
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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