Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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