You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
