Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
