Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
