3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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