once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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