sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
