you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
