i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
