I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
