So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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