at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
