So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
