Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize