I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
