My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
