I want to stick my p in your. b.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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