He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
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Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out