i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.