Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
