i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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