hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
