I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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