Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
