Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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