I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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