As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize