i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
